He Was Only Trying to Help
by Tayk
Summary: If Kaorukun was a school boy... What sorts of mischief would his Kougan Anki cause? The musings of a very bored writer. Note: Kaoru's not psycho, he's just... misguided. Oneshot.


_**Disclaimer: **FoR? Don't own it. Nope.  
**Full Summary: **If Kaoru-kun was a school boy... What sorts of mischief would his Kougan Anki cause? The musings of a very bored writer. Warning: features a slightly psychotic Kaoru-kun.  
_

**He Was Only Trying to Help...  
**

Koganei Kaoru, a mischievious and eager-to-please (well, now) school boy sat sedately in his chair with the Kougan Anki by his side. No one was sitting by him... unsurprisingly...

"Now, I'm going to hand out a worksheet," the teacher told the class, walking over to the locked filing cabinet, "and we're going to do it, all together." She fiddled with the lock and yanked on the cabinet door. It didn't open. The teacher struggled with it for a few seconds. She huffed in frustration. "Would someone go find a janitor to help me with this?"

"No, I got it!" Kaoru exclaimed, grabbing the Kougan Anki and leaping to his feet. Kiba, the first form, easily sliced through the filing cabinet... and most of the papers. "Oops... uh..." Laughing nervously and rubbing the back of his head, Kaoru backed away from the fuming teacher. He fled back to his seat. The teacher sighed and moved to her desk.

"I guess we won't do the worksheet, then..."

---

In Gym class, Kaoru and his classmates were playing American football. Of course, Kaoru had dragged along his Kougan Anki. Of course, he was chosen last.

The other team's kicker kicked as hard as he could and the football went soaring over their heads.

"I got it!" yelled one of the other boys, running backward to keep up with it.

"No, I got it!" Kaoru yelled in response, quickly shifting Kiba to Ryuu, the Anki's second form. He hurled the sickle toward the football. The point struck and deflated it within seconds before falling to the ground amidst terrified school children.

The coach fumed at him. Kaoru busied himself detangling the inflated leather pouch from his precious madougu.

Of course, Kaoru had to sit at the sidelines for the rest of class...

---

In art class, Kaoru and his peers were supposed to be doing outlines of themselves on large pieces of paper, and then cutting them out and sticking them on the wall. It was harder to trace around someone than you might espect it to be, but they had managed.

The problem was... for a class of thirty students, they had been provided five pairs of scissors.

"Anyone got some scissors I can use?" a student on the other side of the room called. With a few quick movements, Kiba turned into Ryuu and then into Kyoku, the giant scissors.

"I got it!" he called, leaping over the heads of two other students and a table and attacking the other child's outline eagerly with the Kougan Anki.

"No, stop!" Kaoru did so... but it was too late. The careful outline on the paper was ripped and shredded, pieces of it everywhere. Under the glares of twenty-nine other students, Kaoru laughed nervously and backed away.

---

And the coincidences kept happening. In history class, the lesson was something about Australia. Kaoru couldn't really say he was paying attention. He was too busy brooding over how much trouble he had gotten into already that day. However, he did perk up considerably when the class was asked if anyone knew what a boomerang was.

"I know!" he shouted, waving a hand in the air. And with that, he grabbed Kougan Anki and shifted it quickly into the fourth form, Mikazuki. With a happy yell, he threw it.

Everyone screamed and ducked as the bladed boomerang sliced through the air. They, of course, knew the destruction his Kougan Anki had caused. The teacher only ducked when it sliced clean through the hair atop his head.

Mikazuki grazed the chalkboard at the front of the room, circled around the back, and started toward Kaoru again. The boy leapt up and caught it easily, grinning. He wilted under the angry look from the teacher, who now had a bald stripe down his head. Realizing that he was in trouble again, Kaoru shifted Mikazuki back into Kiba and sat down heavily.

---

After his multiple detentions that evening, Ishijima Domon of the Hokage was waiting for him.

"What'd you do this time?" the gorilla sighed.

Kaoru dug a toe into the pavement sheepishly. "Nothing much... Just sliced open a filing cabinet, deflated a football, chopped up someone's art project, and gave the history teacher a haircut... It was all an accident!"

Domon laughed. "Only you could do that on accident!" He ruffled the younger boy's hair.

Kaoru jerked away and straightened out his hair indignantly. Well, straightened out is a relative term, but he returned it to normal. "Yeah, well, what'd you do? I know you had detention, too, or you wouldn't have come to get me!"

All the fight fled Domon. "Ehh... Nothing worse than what you did..."

There was a moment of awkward silence.

"Okay, okay... I beat the crap out of a guy who was hitting on my Fuuko... and then she beat the crap out of me..." Domon burst into comical, chibi-like tears. "I don't get why she doesn't like meeeee!"

Kaoru perked up. Here was another chance to use his beloved Kougan Anki! He shifted it to its final, and true, form, An. He taped a pink paper heart to the arrowhead. "I can fix it!" He made to run off, but Domon grabbed him by the collar.

"Where're you going?!"

"I'm Cupid! I'm gonna shoot Fuuko nee-chan, and then she'll fall in love with you!"

"YOU'RE NOT CUPID!" Domon roared. "YOU'D KILL HER!"

Kaoru pouted and waved his arrow around. "Nuh-uh! See? It's the heart arrow!" Domon pulled off the paper heart and Kaoru, hanging two feet above the ground by the collar in Domon's hand, sighed sadly.

"I was only trying to help..."

"I think you've helped people enough today."

Kaoru smiled hopefully. "Do you think I can help people again tomorrow?"

Domon feared for Kaoru's school.


End file.
